


So It Goes

by the_realduck



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Drabble, M/M, Mentions of Blood, Sad, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-30
Updated: 2014-04-30
Packaged: 2018-01-21 10:38:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1547648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_realduck/pseuds/the_realduck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes it feels like Dean is in a fucked up dream world.</p>
            </blockquote>





	So It Goes

Sometimes it feels like Dean is in a fucked up dream world. It’s been years since he has felt normal; he had thought that time would heal this gaping hole in his chest.

*

It hasn’t.

*

Every time he closes his eyes, he’s haunted by a rough voice choking out  _it’s okay, Dean_  and the remains of borrowed grace exploding like a bomb.

*

His head still turns at the sight of dark hair and a blue tie.

*

Sometimes, when he really wants to torture himself, he takes the old trench coat from his bottom drawer. He’ll sit with the fabric bunched in his fists, feeling tears gather in his eyes.  Dean wants to remember everything, but the only image that comes to his mind is bloodied lips smiling and mouthing three words that Dean never got to return.

* 

There are still old voicemail messages on his phone that Dean can’t bring himself to delete.

*

Dean spends hours laying on his back in the grass; the blue in the sky reminding him of the eyes of an angel who once loved him.  Even when the sky turns dark, he stays.  He looks at the constellations and thinks of Cas, and he tries not to remember how he got so close to holding the stars between his fingertips.


End file.
